Monday, May 25, 2015

More Kentucky Humor

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've visited Kentucky. What a beautiful state. I couldn't resist sharing some Kentucky humor, because I've used a fictional town in Kentucky for a setting in both of my novels, Don't You Marry the Mormon Boys, and Gabriel's Daughters

In case you think I'm picking on Kentucky, I'll be writing about Utah humor, too. I might start with unusual names parents choose for their children. Stay tuned. 

Kentucky Residency Application

STATE OF KENTUCKY RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (Check appropriate box) 

Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A 

Shoe Size ____ Left ____ Right 

Occupation: (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed Spouse`s Name: 

__________________________ Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter 

(_) Number of children living in household: ___ Number that are yours: ___ 

Mother`s Name: _______________________ Father`s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Education: 

1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) 

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box) 

__ Total number of vehicles you own 

__ Number of vehicles that still crank 

__ Number of vehicles in front yard __ 

Number of vehicles in back yard __ 

Number of vehicles on cement blocks 

Firearms you own and where you keep them: ____ truck ____ bedroom ____ bathroom ____ kitchen ____ shed 

Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_ 

Do you have a gun rack? (_) Yes (_) No; please explain: 

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: (_) The National Enquirer (_) The Globe (_) TV Guide (_) Soap Opera Digest (_) Rifle and Shotgun 

___ Number of times you`ve seen a UFO 

___ Number of times you`ve seen Elvis

 ___ Number of times you`ve seen Elvis in a UFO 

How often do you bathe: (_)Weekly (_)Monthly (_)Not Applicable 

Color of teeth: (_)Yellow (_)Brownish-Yellow (_)Brown (_)Black (_)N/A 

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: (_)Red-Man 

How far is your home from a paved road? (_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)don`t know


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