"There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are." W.Somerset Maugham
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
"Lost" . . . brought to you by...?
Locke's ready to make the final sacrificeNote: now that I've watched the show w/o interruption, corrections are in green! And I have to download this week's show because my DVR doesn't recognize that TWO episodes are shown each Wednesday night, so it only records the first, which is the repeat. I'll wrestle with it again.
Say what, Jacob?
OK, I'll have to watch tonight's episode again, as I got interrupted about 10 times during "Lost ". . . but Jacob (Christian) (nope, my oops, Christian says he's Jacob's spokesman) had a line that seemed to explain it all. everything, from the plane's mechanical malfunctions, the crash to the island to the strange sicknesses, and even Smoky the Monster (truly, I've seen better monsters in my day and I don't know how essential this one has really been to the plot. Oh, sure, he's offed a few characters, but otherwise has no pers
onality to speak of).
Shouldn't Jack and Des ("See you in another life, brothah") have been surprised to see each other in front of Mrs. Hawking's church? (is her name a tribute to Steven Hawking, or do I have the spelling right?) Speaking of computers, as mine has been giving me fits today, thank you very much, Microsoft, the ones in the basement of her church are ancient, like the ones in . . . the hatches. (And Des has really, really great hair, have you noticed?)
onality to speak of).Anyway, when John asked how to get off the island and Jacob said something about "windows," well, there you have it. Now, really, wouldn't you expect a more creative solution than that? I wonder if he's referring to XP? I suspect he is, because Vista wouldn't have been out yet, just 90 days after the crash. Or maybe it was available in 2003.
So has this just been a huge four-year buildup for Microsoft's newest operating system?
Say it ain't so, Jacob! OK, OK, really, it just struck me as funny, with the emphasis on the word "windows." I know the producers wouldn't treat us in the uncaring way Microsoft does. And why did Ben move the island if John was supposed to do it?
Rousseau and Friends
But thinking of Microsoft and computer problems did make me wonder if everyone in Rousseau's camp might have been sickened by a virus. Really, it was shocking the way that storyline played out, and it all happened so quickly (French subtitles and all) that the characters weren't ev
en developed before they were corpses.
But thinking of Microsoft and computer problems did make me wonder if everyone in Rousseau's camp might have been sickened by a virus. Really, it was shocking the way that storyline played out, and it all happened so quickly (French subtitles and all) that the characters weren't ev
en developed before they were corpses. Soggy violins
I loved the violin being rescued and left to dry on the beach, but what was its significance? We hear a sad violin theme when people die on "Lost" but that happens nearly every episode. So maybe a violin is just a violin.
Miles and his hoodie
On to more pressing matters. I haven't figured out why Miles is essential to the plot. Sure, he "feels dead people" but what's new about that on this island? We have yet to see a real need for his special skills. I find it interesting that he's now the one pulling the hoodie over his head, reminding me of Charlie.
Waiting for Hugo:
And I wondered why Kate and Aaron didn't hop in the van with Jack and Sun and Ben. Well, yes, the fact that Kate hates Ben, with good reason, could have been one reason. But everybody hates Ben. Unless somebody left their keys in the car, though, Kate and Aaron are stranded, without any fries and catsup for Aaron. Plus, Kate is wearing THE most impractical shoes for travel, and I don't think Jack had time to pack, either. Sayid's there at the docks, too, so maybe he and Kate are catching up on old times or playing "Go Fish" with Aaron. OK, bad pun, but I'm really tired. We're still waiting for Hugo to get sprung from the slammer to complete the Oceanic Six, so maybe they're hanging around to wait for him?
And I wondered why Kate and Aaron didn't hop in the van with Jack and Sun and Ben. Well, yes, the fact that Kate hates Ben, with good reason, could have been one reason. But everybody hates Ben. Unless somebody left their keys in the car, though, Kate and Aaron are stranded, without any fries and catsup for Aaron. Plus, Kate is wearing THE most impractical shoes for travel, and I don't think Jack had time to pack, either. Sayid's there at the docks, too, so maybe he and Kate are catching up on old times or playing "Go Fish" with Aaron. OK, bad pun, but I'm really tired. We're still waiting for Hugo to get sprung from the slammer to complete the Oceanic Six, so maybe they're hanging around to wait for him? (OK, so I saw Kate grab Aaron from Sun's car and then I think she drove off in a hurry. Sayid just walked away, didn't want anything to do with the whole "we have to go baaaaaaaack!" idea. The captions they add on repeat episodes - I'm a slow learner- are really helpful, too. Sayid has been assassinating (or at least he thinks this is his mission) people Widmore has been sending to off the Oceanic Six. Since it's been under Ben's direction, I'm sure it's particularly annoying, plus it went against everything Sayid didn't want to be anymore. But now there seems to be more of a reason if he thinks he was protecting his fellow Losties. And is Ben a veterinarian?)
Shouldn't Jack and Des ("See you in another life, brothah") have been surprised to see each other in front of Mrs. Hawking's church? (is her name a tribute to Steven Hawking, or do I have the spelling right?) Speaking of computers, as mine has been giving me fits today, thank you very much, Microsoft, the ones in the basement of her church are ancient, like the ones in . . . the hatches. (And Des has really, really great hair, have you noticed?)
I was happy to see Jin reunited with the gang, who could explain a bit of time travel to him, and also tickled to see Sawyer's genuine joy when he saw Jin. Ben didn't give Sun the wedding ring from Jin (supposedly proof that Jin is alive, although Jin said to tell her it was proof he was dead and buried, just a slight distortion by Ben) until they got to the church. Wonder why he didn't give it to her on the docks?
Korean and Klingon
And I had forgotten that Charlotte spoke Korean (in addition to Klingon). Wonder how that fits in with her background, but I don't know if we're going to see a Charlotte-centric episode or not. Given tonight's events it doesn't seem too likely, unless they to into yet another time warp where she's perfectly healthy.
It's rather amusing how one character will just touch his/her upper lip to politely tell another "You've got a nosebleed." Rather like a formal banquet when you try to let someone know, tactfully, that they have broccoli between their teeth.
Hmmmm, Charlotte seemed to remember Faraday as a crazy old man. Wonder who HER daddy was? And why she can't remember her maiden name (Lewis). She did say that she and her Mum left the island and returned to England, leaving Daddy with the Dharmas.
That was one mean compound fracture Locke had. Christian said he couldn't help him up - is that because Christian's, well, dead?
With those thoughts and questions, I'll say good night. We're heading out of town in the morning, to visit with Our Funny Valentine, our 18 month old granddaughter. Grammy and Poppy love you, PJ (and your parents, too), and we can't wait for those hugs and kisses.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Everything in one (pink) backpack - for one weekend!
The famous pink backpack
I recently took a weekend trip and packed everything I needed in one backpack. It was my one and only item of baggage, and I was so smug about it! I was on crutches (and I still am), so having only one bag to manage was helpful - - - especially one that fit on my back. Not that I had to lug it; my husband carried it for me, gentleman that he is. But it was the principle of the thing. Next trip I can manage it on my own, if I need to.
I was also determined to bring nothing more than a carry-on bag because most airlines now charge for your first checked bag. Additional bags cost even more, so downsizing can eliminate baggage charges. Oh - and our Delta flight did offer wireless internet - - for a charge. Their "Go-go" internet pass is $9.99. Presumably that is $9.99 per flight.
The secret to my bare-bones packing was that I wore the same pair of wrinkle-free black pants all three days. I wasn’t there to impress anyone with my wardrobe, anyway, and black goes with everything, right? I tucked two knit tops, underwear and socks into my backpack and wore a black wool blazer on the plane. A lightweight jacket that layered over it was rolled up to fit in the backpack. I didn’t bring extra shoes either; the black ones (well, technically I wore only one shoe and a clunky orthopedic boot) were just fine for all three days. So my clothing needs were minimal. I’ve found that rolling clothes tightly is the best use of packing space. Every cosmetic item I needed fit into the required one-quart zip-log bag that's inspected at security.
I only took two paperback books, which did require self-discipline.
You can learn if your hotel offers these services before you leave, so you’ll know what you need and what you don’t. Usually you can find this information on their website. If not, call the hotel and see what they have on hand for guests. For example, many have hair dryers and can also provide irons if requested.

“Mandy,” my GPS device, stayed home. We visited our son on this trip and he was our able chauffeur and navigator. If we’d been on our own, Mandy would have come, too. She’s invaluable when we’re trying to find an address in an unfamiliar town.
I’ll do it Again
Overall, I’d say I did very well on our trip. In the future, whenever possible, I plan to pack the absolute minimum when I travel. I’ve always said I would do this, but inevitably I’ve packed more than I needed. I used my master list (see last week's post) when I packed. This time, instead of feeling anxious about what I could have brought or didn't bring, I felt just fine about what I did bring.
I was also determined to bring nothing more than a carry-on bag because most airlines now charge for your first checked bag. Additional bags cost even more, so downsizing can eliminate baggage charges. Oh - and our Delta flight did offer wireless internet - - for a charge. Their "Go-go" internet pass is $9.99. Presumably that is $9.99 per flight.
The secret to my bare-bones packing was that I wore the same pair of wrinkle-free black pants all three days. I wasn’t there to impress anyone with my wardrobe, anyway, and black goes with everything, right? I tucked two knit tops, underwear and socks into my backpack and wore a black wool blazer on the plane. A lightweight jacket that layered over it was rolled up to fit in the backpack. I didn’t bring extra shoes either; the black ones (well, technically I wore only one shoe and a clunky orthopedic boot) were just fine for all three days. So my clothing needs were minimal. I’ve found that rolling clothes tightly is the best use of packing space. Every cosmetic item I needed fit into the required one-quart zip-log bag that's inspected at security.
I only took two paperback books, which did require self-discipline.

But I've ordered a Kindle e-book reader, so very soon that will contain all my reading needs when I'm on the go.
I brought an empty fanny-pack that fit into one of the pockets of my backpack, and after we passed through security, I put some items in it that I wanted to have with me on the plane, and buckled it around my waist.
We didn’t shop on our trip, so there was nothing extra to bring home. There were two items I packed but didn’t use: one was an extension cord. Many hotel rooms
don’t have plugs that are easily accessible; if they are, lamps and other items may already be plugged into them. An extension cord with several plugs allows you to recharge your phone or mp3 player or to use your laptop. On this trip, our room was set up for computer use, so there were plenty of accessible plugs, and I didn’t need the extension cord.
(Be sure when you do travel with your laptop that you always have a spare three-
prong adapter with you. They cost about a dollar and they're invaluable when you only have a two-prong outlet.) The other item I didn't use was the extra set of earphones I accidentally packed for my mp3 player.

don’t have plugs that are easily accessible; if they are, lamps and other items may already be plugged into them. An extension cord with several plugs allows you to recharge your phone or mp3 player or to use your laptop. On this trip, our room was set up for computer use, so there were plenty of accessible plugs, and I didn’t need the extension cord.(Be sure when you do travel with your laptop that you always have a spare three-
prong adapter with you. They cost about a dollar and they're invaluable when you only have a two-prong outlet.) The other item I didn't use was the extra set of earphones I accidentally packed for my mp3 player.

Otherwise, I packed only what I needed, and I used everything I packed.
My handy pink backpack also has a padded sleeve for my laptop, but we didn’t need it on this trip, so we didn’t bring it. Our hotel had a free business center with several computers for guests to use, and we were able to print our return-trip boarding passes at no charge, a great convenience. Airlines also require laptops to be carry-on items; they should not be in your checked bags. They must also be taken out of their cases and placed in separate bins at security.
My handy pink backpack also has a padded sleeve for my laptop, but we didn’t need it on this trip, so we didn’t bring it. Our hotel had a free business center with several computers for guests to use, and we were able to print our return-trip boarding passes at no charge, a great convenience. Airlines also require laptops to be carry-on items; they should not be in your checked bags. They must also be taken out of their cases and placed in separate bins at security.
Remember: Nothing valuable should be in checked bags, including medication.
You can learn if your hotel offers these services before you leave, so you’ll know what you need and what you don’t. Usually you can find this information on their website. If not, call the hotel and see what they have on hand for guests. For example, many have hair dryers and can also provide irons if requested.

“Mandy,” my GPS device, stayed home. We visited our son on this trip and he was our able chauffeur and navigator. If we’d been on our own, Mandy would have come, too. She’s invaluable when we’re trying to find an address in an unfamiliar town.
I’ll do it Again
Overall, I’d say I did very well on our trip. In the future, whenever possible, I plan to pack the absolute minimum when I travel. I’ve always said I would do this, but inevitably I’ve packed more than I needed. I used my master list (see last week's post) when I packed. This time, instead of feeling anxious about what I could have brought or didn't bring, I felt just fine about what I did bring.
Pretty in Pink
It’s always wise to have more than one distinctive tag or strap on your luggage. As the airlines remind you, many bags look alike. But very few people are going to mistake my pink backpack (it also has an orange ID tag on it) for theirs. Even my husband has to agree with that. After all, he was the one carrying it. Pink looks good on him.
It’s always wise to have more than one distinctive tag or strap on your luggage. As the airlines remind you, many bags look alike. But very few people are going to mistake my pink backpack (it also has an orange ID tag on it) for theirs. Even my husband has to agree with that. After all, he was the one carrying it. Pink looks good on him.
Travel: What to take, what to leave at home, and other weighty decisions
#9 in travel seriesSee the following websites mentioned in last week's post for current and helpful
travel information:
http://www.ricksteves.com/home.htm
http://www.ricksteves.com/home.htm
I've traveled by air recently along with my crutches and wheelchair, so we have used special mobility services and appreciated them. Airlines are very helpful if you have special mobility needs. Some have contracted those services to outside firms, and if you’re assisted by one of their employees, tips are appreciated (and probably expected). Other airlines continue to offer wheelchairs and escorts as part of their regular service. If you do need assistance with mobility, be sure to call in advance so the airline can be prepared to meet your needs. You can request a cart or wheelchair online, as long as you can give them 48 hours notice.
Also contact your airline about special medical devices such as CPAP machines and diabetic supplies. For passengers who need supplemental oxygen, ascertain what the airline provides. If you travel with your own wheelchair, the airline will provide specific requirements that determine whether you must check it at the gate or whether it will fit in the plane's cabin.
Be sure to ask how these items will be screened at security, and when you reach security, tell the agent you are carrying them in your bag. Remember that when your carry-ons are searched by hand, you must stand back from the table or not touch any of your possessions, no matter how tempting it might be to help the agent. You can explain questionable items to them but remember to keep your hands to yourself. Otherwise, your helpful gesture could be construed as a threat, and . . . well, let's just not go there. Suffice it to say, missing your flight would be the least of your worries.What to Leave Behind
The list: Make a permanent packing list and use it every time you travel. The more you use this list, the more relaxed you will be when you leave home. One excellent way to determine what you'll really need on a trip is to make a list of what you actually used on a previous trip. Do this as you unpack. It will help you to analyze, in black and white, what you need and what you don't really need. If you're a "kitchen-sink (everything but) traveler," the way I used to be, this will help you to make logical decisions, instead of relying on emotional decisions when you pack.
It’s a good idea to empty your wallet of anything you don’t need such as library
cards, grocery discount cards, etc. If you should lose your wallet, you wouldn’t have to replace everything you usually carry in it at home. And photocopy all credit cards, your license, passport, visa, etc. and put the photocopies in a different place than the originals. Having the photocopies copies will greatly expedite their replacement. Write down the phone numbers of the credit card companies and other emergency numbers on a small card and laminate it. Again, place this card in another spot than your wallet.
In an earlier column(March 20, 2008,http://janetkayjensen.blogspot.com/2008/03
/travel-advice-part-two-carry-on-bags.html) I mentioned the state-issued picture identification cards which you can obtain through your state's Drivers License Department. I travel with my state ID card and leave my driver’s license at home. If I were to lose my license, it would be much more difficult to replace than the state ID card. it's a good idea to obtain state ID cards for all family members. And unless I know I’ll be using it, I leave my temple recommend safely at home.
Handy Items to Bring
It’s a good idea to keep address labels in your wallet. If you want to add more luggage tags to your bags when you check in, simply peel off a label and stick it on the airline’s paper tag. It’s usually more readable than your hurried handwriting. And if you buy something that you want to mail home, the label is perfect for that purpose as well.

I always pack my own small travel battery-operated alarm clock. I know how to set it, and I often can’t figure out the settings on hotel alarm clocks. Just be sure to adjust the clock for any change in time zones.
It’s a good idea to empty your wallet of anything you don’t need such as library
cards, grocery discount cards, etc. If you should lose your wallet, you wouldn’t have to replace everything you usually carry in it at home. And photocopy all credit cards, your license, passport, visa, etc. and put the photocopies in a different place than the originals. Having the photocopies copies will greatly expedite their replacement. Write down the phone numbers of the credit card companies and other emergency numbers on a small card and laminate it. Again, place this card in another spot than your wallet.In an earlier column(March 20, 2008,http://janetkayjensen.blogspot.com/2008/03
/travel-advice-part-two-carry-on-bags.html) I mentioned the state-issued picture identification cards which you can obtain through your state's Drivers License Department. I travel with my state ID card and leave my driver’s license at home. If I were to lose my license, it would be much more difficult to replace than the state ID card. it's a good idea to obtain state ID cards for all family members. And unless I know I’ll be using it, I leave my temple recommend safely at home.Handy Items to Bring
It’s a good idea to keep address labels in your wallet. If you want to add more luggage tags to your bags when you check in, simply peel off a label and stick it on the airline’s paper tag. It’s usually more readable than your hurried handwriting. And if you buy something that you want to mail home, the label is perfect for that purpose as well.

I always pack my own small travel battery-operated alarm clock. I know how to set it, and I often can’t figure out the settings on hotel alarm clocks. Just be sure to adjust the clock for any change in time zones.
About digital camerasMemory cards are going down in price, so pick up a few extra if you plan to take many pictures. Don't forget a small battery charger and extra rechargeable batteries.
Empty 35mm film canisters (remember the days of film?) are great for holding jewelry, as well as quarters for vending machines or coin-operated washers and dryers. If you have room in your bag, measure some laundry soap into zip-top plastic bags, and, just to be safe, double-bag them. Laundry soap is expensive to purchase in coin-operated laundromats, and you’ll need all your quarters for the washers and dryers anyway.
Identification
Have you ever heard announcements over the PA system for travelers to come back to security and claim items such as cell phones, etc.? I certainly have. Read the security sections in the websites mentioned at the beginning of this article for the best way to identify them. Again, be sure to tuck some kind of ID into your bag. A business card works well, as long as it's your business card. Something larger, such as a full-size bright piece of paper with your name, address and phone number written on it, can simply be the last item you slip in before you close your bag. It will be the first thing someone sees when they're trying to identify the owner.
Your bag will be found and returned to you sooner if it's easy to identify.
If it's lost or delayed and you have to file a claim for your missing suitcase, the airline will want you to describe the bag and its contents. "Well, let me see, it's kind of black with wheels, and it has clothes and shoes and . . .” There's not usually much inside or out that distinguishes one bag from another, unless you make sure to include it. Try to put unique tags (several) as well as something bright and distinctive (i.e. luggage strap, yarn pom-pom, etc.) on the outside of your bag, but realize that it could be torn off in handling. It's happened to us. We use brightly striped straps, sometimes more than one, to make our bags stand out from others.
Tag it!
I visited our local pet store and used their automated machine to print small metal pet tags with our name, address and phone number and attached one to my camera strap. These little tags and the rings that come with them are quite sturdy, so consider the many ways you might use them.
Most cell phones have small recessed hooks where decorative chains can be attached; consider slipping a small pet tag there. Call your cell phone company and ask how they suggest you identify your phone, and and how they would recommend you list emergency contact phone numbers in your cell phone's directory. Remember to bring a car/and or wall charger for your cell phone.
Identification
Have you ever heard announcements over the PA system for travelers to come back to security and claim items such as cell phones, etc.? I certainly have. Read the security sections in the websites mentioned at the beginning of this article for the best way to identify them. Again, be sure to tuck some kind of ID into your bag. A business card works well, as long as it's your business card. Something larger, such as a full-size bright piece of paper with your name, address and phone number written on it, can simply be the last item you slip in before you close your bag. It will be the first thing someone sees when they're trying to identify the owner.
Your bag will be found and returned to you sooner if it's easy to identify.If it's lost or delayed and you have to file a claim for your missing suitcase, the airline will want you to describe the bag and its contents. "Well, let me see, it's kind of black with wheels, and it has clothes and shoes and . . .” There's not usually much inside or out that distinguishes one bag from another, unless you make sure to include it. Try to put unique tags (several) as well as something bright and distinctive (i.e. luggage strap, yarn pom-pom, etc.) on the outside of your bag, but realize that it could be torn off in handling. It's happened to us. We use brightly striped straps, sometimes more than one, to make our bags stand out from others.
Tag it!
I visited our local pet store and used their automated machine to print small metal pet tags with our name, address and phone number and attached one to my camera strap. These little tags and the rings that come with them are quite sturdy, so consider the many ways you might use them.
Most cell phones have small recessed hooks where decorative chains can be attached; consider slipping a small pet tag there. Call your cell phone company and ask how they suggest you identify your phone, and and how they would recommend you list emergency contact phone numbers in your cell phone's directory. Remember to bring a car/and or wall charger for your cell phone.
Stick address labels or business cards inside small cases (i.e. for glasses or sunglasses) if you
don't want to be obvious and label the outsides. We've wondered how many sets of bifocals have piled up at the Amsterdam International Airport since my husband's were left there . . . And another trick: use colors that stand out when you buy eyeglass cases, camera bags, etc. You're less likely to overlook them when you exit a plane or check out of your hotel room. Some experienced travelers suggest that bright colors could be more obvious targets for thieves, so that's something to consider, too. Another wise idea is to travel with inexpensive sunglasses.
I have considered ordering a personalized "Going to Visit Grandma" bag for my granddaughter that has her name embroidered on it, but that could also pose a safety risk. Check with your local child-safety police officer about the wisdom of having a child's name in a highly visible place. If the kids are just piling into the family car for their visit, that's one thing. If they're in a public airport, bus or train station, that's an entirely different security consideration.
don't want to be obvious and label the outsides. We've wondered how many sets of bifocals have piled up at the Amsterdam International Airport since my husband's were left there . . . And another trick: use colors that stand out when you buy eyeglass cases, camera bags, etc. You're less likely to overlook them when you exit a plane or check out of your hotel room. Some experienced travelers suggest that bright colors could be more obvious targets for thieves, so that's something to consider, too. Another wise idea is to travel with inexpensive sunglasses.I have considered ordering a personalized "Going to Visit Grandma" bag for my granddaughter that has her name embroidered on it, but that could also pose a safety risk. Check with your local child-safety police officer about the wisdom of having a child's name in a highly visible place. If the kids are just piling into the family car for their visit, that's one thing. If they're in a public airport, bus or train station, that's an entirely different security consideration.
Weighty Decisions
It's always a good idea to weigh the bags you plan to check at home, before you leave for the airport. There are usually different weight allowances for domestic vs. international flights. Most airlines will allow you to check heavier bags, but will charge extra for them.
#3 son's Go-Bot

We take a lot of credit for this. His dad and I saw him through YEARS of Pinewood Derby cars. In spite of our mechanical abilities, it took a Scoutmaster's help to actually get his car to roll down the track. But we read The Little Train that Could to him a zillion times, and I'm sure that's what cinched it. He must have inherited a recessive gene that inspired him to design and build the Go-Bot, a project he completed at UC Berkeley, where he recently graduated in Computer Engineering. I've seen the Go-Bot and I'm not exactly sure what it does, or why, but that doesn't keep me from being very proud of its creator. Love ya, Jeff!
Friday, February 6, 2009

#2 son, BJ, has just learned that a paper, of which he is one of 7 co-authors, has been accepted for publication in the European Journal of Applied Physiology.
The lake on the campus of the Unversity of Jyvaskyla in Jyvaskyla, Finland - a great place to take a stroll.
BJ is a graduate student in the Department of Biology of Physical Activity, Neuromuscular Research Center, at the University of Jyvaskyla in Jyvaskyla, Finland. The title of the paper is "Body composition, fitness and metabolic health during strength and endurance training and their combination in middle-aged and older women."
The lake on the campus of the Unversity of Jyvaskyla in Jyvaskyla, Finland - a great place to take a stroll.BJ is a graduate student in the Department of Biology of Physical Activity, Neuromuscular Research Center, at the University of Jyvaskyla in Jyvaskyla, Finland. The title of the paper is "Body composition, fitness and metabolic health during strength and endurance training and their combination in middle-aged and older women."
I'm afraid if he does a single-subject study, it may be on Mom!
BJ with his dad following his graduation from Utah State University.
Say what? Great Bad Sentences

From my friend Stacy:
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners…
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it..
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup. (Prof. Wood's personal favorite)
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Tonight's "Lost" - - I knew it!
I just knew Jin could not be dead. Sure, we saw the freighter blow up at the end of Season 4, but there were just too many reasons to keep him around. Then we saw the raft full of French-speaking castaways. I thought, hmm, who do we know who speaks French. Of course, our resident Mistress of the Booby Traps. And then a young, pregnant Danielle Rousseau introduced herself to the newly-rescued Jin, and he did look quite confused. But for once I wasn't confused. The raft did seem rather high tech, though, for that era.


Kate and Sun in happier times
After last week's episode, I knew Sun had it in for Kate. She holds Kate responsible for Jin's "death." Won't she be surprised when all their watches are synched. I don't know about you, but when someone sends me chocolates, they're just chocolates. I prefer Bluebird Chocolates, by the way, made in Logan, Utah (hand-dipped). And no cherries, please. My favorite centers are orange and lemon, and I prefer milk chocolate. Just in case anyone's thinking of buying a pound or so for me.
I have a few questions:
Will anyone ever remind Ben that Alex wasn't really his daughter? He seems to enjoy tormenting Kate about Aaron - that he's not her biological son. Of course, tormenting people is one of Ben's hobbies.
Will anyone ever remind Ben that Alex wasn't really his daughter? He seems to enjoy tormenting Kate about Aaron - that he's not her biological son. Of course, tormenting people is one of Ben's hobbies.
Shouldn't Richard Alpert's compass be slightly off-kilter?
And isn't it way cool that he just does not age?
And isn't it way cool that he just does not age? Didn't ya love the look on Sawyer's face when he was watching the scene with Kate and Claire? Yep, he's still holding a torch for Freckles.
Ya just gotta love Sawyer. And I'm enjoying his scenes with Juliet - he confides more in her than he has in anyone else. She is one of my favorite characters. And she speaks Latin! Plus, she kicked Ben out of Book Club. Anyone who kicks Ben out of Book Club can join my Book Club. We meet on the third Wednesday of each month.
I was also very impressed that Juliet got off the sub looking freshly groomed, still in her high heels. And right after her ex got flattened by a bus, no less. And he did deserve it, though I admit, his "accident" was uncanny timing. Somehow I think Richard had something to do with the bus and the timing.
I had to laugh when one of the Others (the one Faraday seemed to know from a future life) turned to Sawyer and said "I suppose you're from the future, too?" and then he glared at Faraday and said, "You told her?" As if the whole thing wasn't sounding ludicrous enough already.
Speaking of Freckles, which we were a few paragraphs ago, will Kate ever forgive Jack for luring her to the docks, only to be met by the rest of the Oceanic Six (well, Hugo's not there yet, is he? Seems we last saw him in an orange jumpsuit, happy to be headed to a jail cell) and Ben? And aren't we all glad Jack finally shaved?
In the picture with Kate (below) can't you just hear her say, "By the way, Jack, I hope you don't ever grow a beard when you get off the island, when you really, really mess up your life. Nothing more than a goatee. Otherwise, I think you'd look like Saddam Hussein. I like you just the way you are, that is, when I'm not confused by my feelings for Sawyer."

And speaking of Sawyer, any guesses as to what he said to Kate before he jumped (heroically) out of the helicopter? That was such a romantic gesture, launching himself into the ocean to save the rest of the passengers (well, Kate in specific). I think he was telling her where to find his daughter, Clementine, the one he denied fathering. We all knew he was the Daddy, and he wants Kate to do right by Clementine. Little Miss Clementine has a hefty bank account thanks to Daddy, and I'm guessing Kate is seeing that Clementine is doing all right. Sawyer (Or James, as Juliet likes to call him), is certainly developing a conscience these days. And a fierce loyalty to his fellow Losties. Makes ya love him even more.
Don't you think physicist Daniel Faraday's tie is just . . . well, just perfect for his personality and profession? Even when the island's social affairs call for casual island attire, Daniel's still wearing his dapper skinny tie.
Will we see the mysterious but oh-so-competent Mr. Norton (Ben's attorney) again in future episodes? I really like the actor who plays Norton. And if he's not time-traveling, Norton works mighty fast. He seemed to morph from Claire's mom's motel room to the jail parking terrace (where he'd managed to fix all of Hugo's legal problems) in the space of just a few minutes. That wouldn't be much of a billable hour. Maybe Ben's just got him on retainer. If he's smart, and I think he is, he gets paid in advance, in cash. I don't know if there are any islands on the bank. I haven't noticed any.
By the way, for some great "Lost" humor, visit Abel Keogh's website. He's posted some youtube videos that are hilarious. Don't miss the one with Sawyer's nicknames.
Ben Linus, aka
Henry Gale, Hot
Air Balloon Crasher
And we assume he
speaks Latin, too!
Why haven't we heard the Others speak Latin before now, I wonder? And as their leader, John's got some studying to do!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Travel Updates

More Travel Updates
#8 in travel series
I have been posting about travel for nearly a year now, and as I look back, some of that information is now outdated. So here's a summary from my latest travel research and experience.
Recommended Reading: http://www.ricksteves.com/home.htm
Many of us have heard about Rick Steves; he's published books on traveling through Europe, and is seen on TV and radio, but his site also has some fabulous travel hints, product evaluations, and security tips. I spent some time at the site today but will read it in more detail before my next trip.
Another great website: http://www.onebag.com. The author describes how to travel anywhere with one bag. The hints, especially regarding security, are most helpful. The author is British, so the site has the added flavor of British spellings, which always make me feel so . . . educated when I read them.
A helpful, current site with family travel hints: http://airtravel.about.com/od/beforeyougo/u/Docs.htm. This one addresses many practical issues such as traveling with kids and pets, healthy snacks you may want to bring for your flight, what happens if your airline goes on strike, and other information that's vital to know.
More essential information about travel documents and regulations: http://www.travel.state.gov. This State Department site is loaded with essential information about foreign travel, documents needed, and other important and current travel regulations.
Always consult your airline's website for updates. Check your airport's rules and regulations, too. If you are traveling abroad, this is crucial. Learn what you can and cannot take in/out of other countries, and research the baggage policies of each airline you may use on a long trip with several legs and plane/airline switches. Don't assume anything.
Even if you don't travel extensively, all of these sites are well worth reviewing. Most of my trips are short, and if we're visiting family there are certain items I don't even worry about, including laundry; I just plan to use their facilities.

Liquids
Now that we’ve figured out how to put our essential liquids into all those little three-ounce bottles, and then how to stuff all the little bottles and containers into zip-top plastic bags, the Transportation Security Administration has announced that by the end of 2009, equipment will be available at most airports to screen liquids for potentially harmful ingredients, and they won't need to be limited to three-ounce containers bagged in your carry-ons. But until this happens, you’ll still need to cram those little carry-on bottles in quart zipper bags for inspection at security. See this informative article about other changes which we may expect in air travel at some future point: http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-25069997
Boarding Passes
The Yahoo article also mentions that in the future, boarding passes may be downloaded onto cell phones or PDAs, so we may be traveling without paper passes. That would require me to learn how to download my boarding pass onto my cell phone, but that can’t be too hard, can it? After all, I can use about three features on my cell phone already, including turning it on and off. Once in a while I accidentally take a picture with it. Usually it's a blurred, surprised image of my own face.
Internet Availabilitiy on Flights
Wireless internet services may also be available on planes in the future, but the article doesn’t mention whether there will be a cost to access it. Many airlines offer television screens for every passenger, but some charge for the service, even to watch basic network channels.
Money
Traveler's checks (or "cheques" if you're visiting the OneBag site) are less convenient than they once were. Experts now say that credit cards have taken their place and are more economical. Call your credit card company if you are going to take a major trip, so unusual charges away from home won't raise red flags. Not all credit cards can be used internationally. If you plan to use an ATM, the OneBag site also has some tips for economical use of ATMs. And he mentions that in some countries, the PIN number must have 4 digits; in other countries, 6 digits are the norm. So do your homework! Call your cell phone company, too, to make sure you have coverage where you will travel.
The Rick Steves and OneBag websites highly recommend wearing pouches that fit under your clothes for valuables including passports and money. They also recommend the brands whose straps can't easily be cut by thieves, and provide links to those sources.
If you purchase very much on your trip, consider mailing those items home if it's economical. Remember the image of the gorillas throwing suitcases around if you have to put them in a checked bag, or the image of the flight attendant grunting as he/she shoves bags around in the overhead bins to make room for more items. My nephew put his compact French horn (in its hard case with spongy interior padding for each piece of the horn) in an overhead bin, and the horn was still dented during the flight. No one knows how. It's just one of life's mysteries.
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